Gloria

Ok tell us your life story to date

I was born in Henderson, grew up in Wellington and moved back when I was 10. Now I’m out here in Glen Eden, so I’m a Westie! My parents split when I was one. That was fine, it was easier because I missed the rough part. I’ve grown up with different families and step siblings through the years, and it’s been kinda cool to have step brothers/sisters on and off. 

Did you know what you wanted to do when you left school?

I had an idea of what I should do, because there is an expectation you should know. I didn’t want to be that person who didn’t know. So I decided to do something arty. I can’t do anything without a creative element to it or I go a bit crazy. I want to do a Bachelor of Creative Enterprise. But I knew I needed a gap year because I found school really hard and I didn’t like it a lot. 

We’ve heard a lot that year 13 in schools today is super stressful, is that something you felt?

When it came to exams I was like, “I’m so stressed, it would be easier if I was dead!” And now you look back and think why would I say that, that’s crazy! But at the time it’s just the stress you put on yourself. I also think my whole life I’ve struggled with learning and keeping up with people, so it felt like, “these exams are my whole life and if I fail this my life is over!” It’s because you’re told school is your life and the one thing you need to think about.

Did you see a problem with youth and mental health in your own school?

Yeah, like looking back everyone was depressed and talking about how depressed they were. But because everyone is depressed it feels normal so you don’t think it’s weird. Now I look back and think there’s a big issue with kids having anxiety and depression but they don’t know they have it. At one point I found myself lost at school and was sad all the time. I told my Mum I wanted to go to therapy but she never got around to it. So I never went. But instead of wallowing in it, I pulled myself out of it and thought, “what can I do to be happier? Think less about school, remind yourself it’s not the end of the world, that no one is thinking you’re a loner and remember your family love you…” I found myself not depressed anymore. It was super weird because you can’t normally pull yourself out of it but sometimes you can. 

What does success look like for you in five years time?

I don’t know, I’ll figure it out. I could do anything and my parents would be supportive, but I just feel like I want them to say, “Oh, you should do this because it’s successful!” I’m just left to my own devices, and I don’t trust myself to make those decisions. 

So do you feel like you’ve got too many options?

Yeah there’s so much out there that you’re overwhelmed with choices. I want to do something I love, and also be able to support myself, and I’m always asking, “Is this the right decision?” 

Your generation are famously more into settling down than previous generations. Is it still cool to root around and get out and go crazy as a teenager?

Thinking back on school, there was a few who thought it was cool to fuck around and stuff. But the more I think about it, I know more people who want to be in a happy, warm comfortable relationship because school is so stressful. Why would you add all this other stress into your life?

If you could use three words to sum up how your generation are feeling what would they be?

Scared, lost, worried…This is our generation, the worried ones.

Do you feel like an adult?

No! I don’t trust myself to make good decisions.You’re not really an adult until you’ve gone and done something super adult-y like live in a shared flat. I don’t know if I could manage moving out right now and sorting my life and where I’m going. I think I’d want to move out when I know I could live alone and have a supportive job.